This article is utter bollocks.
I don't see it as silly or pretentious that Americans are using more Britishisms. I'm sure Americanisms have likewise crept into Eliza Doolittle's daily vocabulary.
Perhaps this trend doesn't bother me because my grandparents, despite perfected American accents, were subjects of the Queen until their adult years. I love the British! Tea with milk was served in my family's house and NEVER coffee. When I made the switch to coffee in college, I was deemed a traitor to the Union Jack. I'm much poorer for it too, thank you very much Starbucks.The Beatles were my first and favorite band. I always make time for As Time Goes By. I own omnibuses of Orwell and Kipling and have actually read Churchill's A History of the English Speaking Peoples (abridged). I'm also that very rare American species: a Francophobe.
From Julie Andrews to Hugh Grant, Bridget Jones, Harry Potter, Craig Ferguson and any number of British shows, bands and celebrities, our ears have become accustomed to British English, as have our eyeballs: The Daily Mail bests American media hands down because where else would I be able to view a picture like this?
Let's face it, Britishisms are just fun. I've adopted the word "mental" into daily use after hearing Rupert Grint use it in Harry Potter. One British word which I love, but has not made it over the pond yet is "wanker." I'd like to popularize it, but would probably get slapped in the face.
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Adrift
Yesterday was the first Saturday in nearly a year that I did not choose to sit and write. It was a strange and untethered feeling. Although I had a nice day with the Munchkin getting some shopping and yard work done, always in the back of my mind I was composing sentences for a book I've shoved in the drawer for the time being. I don't want to add one jot to the thing. It needs to rest--or should I say "I"?--before I can take another stab at it. Or just stab it. What a cruel and lovely feeling it would be to stab a book and see it bleed like Tom Riddle's journal. Goodbye figments of my imagination; may you never torment me again!
But now I'm undergoing another torment: what to write next? Nanowrimo starts in two weeks. Should I use that time to brain dump the fun idea I had, or to really try to get a significant portion of one my previous attempts completed? Time is scarce and I've made enough mistakes in my life. Let's not add wrong novel choice to the list!
Sidenote: In this month's Writer's Digest, there is a profile of an agent who hates sentence fragments, but writes in sentence fragments himself. I'm all about the sentence fragments. All about. I like italics too.
But now I'm undergoing another torment: what to write next? Nanowrimo starts in two weeks. Should I use that time to brain dump the fun idea I had, or to really try to get a significant portion of one my previous attempts completed? Time is scarce and I've made enough mistakes in my life. Let's not add wrong novel choice to the list!
Sidenote: In this month's Writer's Digest, there is a profile of an agent who hates sentence fragments, but writes in sentence fragments himself. I'm all about the sentence fragments. All about. I like italics too.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Giving it a rest
I've hit a wall. At page 226 I can go no further. For the last several weeks I have stared at the screen and tinkered with scenes already written, but can't seem to finish the last scene or insert two scenes that need inclusion. So I'm giving it a rest. NaNoWriMo is coming up and I have a fun idea for that. Perhaps after focusing on something else for a while, I'll be able to come back in seven weeks, find a printer with actual ink and a working motor, print out the mass of pages and review it with fresh eyes. That will be the end of Draft One which will be sent out to a couple of people who have graciously agreed to read it. I want this practice novel done and out of my life!
Monday, October 1, 2012
Waiting...
I'm number 112 on the library waiting list for JK Rowling's newest release, The Casual Vacancy.
The New York Times has decimated it, but after all the countless hours of reading pleasure Ms. Rowling has provided me through her Harry Potter world, I owe it to her to give the new book a fair shot. It looks like a lot of other people are doing so also.
The New York Times has decimated it, but after all the countless hours of reading pleasure Ms. Rowling has provided me through her Harry Potter world, I owe it to her to give the new book a fair shot. It looks like a lot of other people are doing so also.
Monday, September 17, 2012
The dangers of not writing quickly
I almost had a heart attack today when I saw a book review for a new novel whose main character and main event sounded extraordinarily similar to one that I have planned for the future. Fortunately, upon further reading, I discovered that the entire context and plot of this other novel was very different. Whew! But I worry every day that my idea--which I feel has solid commercial potential--will get written by someone else who had the same brainwave and was able to write it and sell it faster.
Who can forget the Deep Impact vs. Armageddon showdown? Or the dueling cookbooks about tricking kids into healthier eating by Jessica Seinfeld and Missy Chase Lapine, which turned into an ugly court case? Sometimes it's theft and sometimes it's zeitgeist. Sometimes it's the same brilliant thought occuring independently to two different people.
But before starting on THE BIG ONE (henceforth to be known as TBO) I still have to work out the plot because it's going to be a much more complicated piece than I've attempted before, and I still have to finish this blasted practice novel and then work on a novel that's been swimming in my head for years but was finally clarified last week when a key plot point clunked into place while I was thinking about something else. It's amazing how that happens. Let's hope that Malcolm Gladwell's 10,000 hour rule holds true because by the time I finally get to work on TBO, I'll be a goddam master of the art. Let us also pray that nobody else writes it first!
Added thought: I will deliberately refrain from reading this other person's novel--even though it sounds fascinating--in order not to be influenced by it. I don't want to end up like this person!
Who can forget the Deep Impact vs. Armageddon showdown? Or the dueling cookbooks about tricking kids into healthier eating by Jessica Seinfeld and Missy Chase Lapine, which turned into an ugly court case? Sometimes it's theft and sometimes it's zeitgeist. Sometimes it's the same brilliant thought occuring independently to two different people.
But before starting on THE BIG ONE (henceforth to be known as TBO) I still have to work out the plot because it's going to be a much more complicated piece than I've attempted before, and I still have to finish this blasted practice novel and then work on a novel that's been swimming in my head for years but was finally clarified last week when a key plot point clunked into place while I was thinking about something else. It's amazing how that happens. Let's hope that Malcolm Gladwell's 10,000 hour rule holds true because by the time I finally get to work on TBO, I'll be a goddam master of the art. Let us also pray that nobody else writes it first!
Added thought: I will deliberately refrain from reading this other person's novel--even though it sounds fascinating--in order not to be influenced by it. I don't want to end up like this person!
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Current count
I'm in the home stretch and will be more than happy to put this piece behind me for a while. This started out as a practice novel, but it has taken longer than anticipated to complete a first draft. I figure there's about 20 more pages left to do before I can stuff it in a drawer for a month. I need fresh eyes to do any more to it. Then I can burn it.
219 pages / 70,371 words
219 pages / 70,371 words
Friday, September 7, 2012
The Non-MFA MFA post
With a sigh I opened this month's issue of Poets and Writers. Yup, it's the MFA issue. Thousands of bright-eyed 22 year-olds across the country are eagerly examining the contents to determine the best "fit" and wondering if they should apply to the most selective program or the one with the most fellowship placements. Page after page of MFA program advertisements entice the prospective applicant to imagine herself sitting on the beach with her open laptop, taking inspiration from the waves. The Miami Writers Institute and the University of Tampa used the identical beach-laptop photo, prompting the identical thought that I will never attend a program whose biggest perk is the beach because I DON'T DO heat, humidity, hurricanes or bikinis! Emerson College's advertisement oozes charm and I can picture myself sitting by a window looking out on the cobblestone streets, moleskin notebook on my lap and a cup of tea at hand, while glowing streetlights and windows provide a merry atmosphere....Yeah, right. Charm is expensive and I'd probably be living in a cockroach infested basement in a dodgy part of town. Emerson is therefore out of the running.
And then there's Michener. Time, space and money. That's the best advertisement of all. Perhaps next year....
Seth Abramson has been feeding my MFA statistics mania for as long as I've been looking at creative writing programs. Leave it to a former law student to infuse hard-nosed data and analysis into the lives of a bunch of free-spirited, number-avoidant dreamers (if you are not familiar with law students and their rank[ings] obsessions, please visit lawschoolnumbers or the US News & World Report to see what I'm talking about). Personally, the only stats I'm interested in are Funding, GRE--can someone please explain to me why a GRE is necessary? I'm really not going to be admitted because I forgot all of my high school Algebra, really?-- and one that isn't on here, but should be: Literature course requirements, so you can know how much of your precious time is going to be wasted on term papers.
One surprising statistic is that Iowa is #20 in selectivity even though it is #1 in popularity. I would have thought that the two things correlated more closely. Also not sure why it is only #24 in funding when another column says ALL students are fully funded. Perhaps because the money isn't purely in the form of grants, but often requires teaching? The amount offered by Iowa is also less than the $27,000 per year offered by Michener. Suck it, Iowa (but please let me in)!
Each MFA issue is a reminder that another year has passed and I still haven't joined a program. Writing is a lonely hobby. Whereas knitters can join knitting groups and runners can find other runners to pound the pavement with, writing requires space away from others to work, but then needs others to read and critique and encourage. And yes, even to learn. "The Teachable Talent: Why Creative Writing Can Be Taught" by Gregory Spatz was a welcome read in this year's MFA issue. Nobody who believes that writing is purely a God-given talent and not a skill that can be honed, should ever teach in an MFA program.
To all would-be MFAers out there, I wish you luck and success.
And then there's Michener. Time, space and money. That's the best advertisement of all. Perhaps next year....
Seth Abramson has been feeding my MFA statistics mania for as long as I've been looking at creative writing programs. Leave it to a former law student to infuse hard-nosed data and analysis into the lives of a bunch of free-spirited, number-avoidant dreamers (if you are not familiar with law students and their rank[ings] obsessions, please visit lawschoolnumbers or the US News & World Report to see what I'm talking about). Personally, the only stats I'm interested in are Funding, GRE--can someone please explain to me why a GRE is necessary? I'm really not going to be admitted because I forgot all of my high school Algebra, really?-- and one that isn't on here, but should be: Literature course requirements, so you can know how much of your precious time is going to be wasted on term papers.
One surprising statistic is that Iowa is #20 in selectivity even though it is #1 in popularity. I would have thought that the two things correlated more closely. Also not sure why it is only #24 in funding when another column says ALL students are fully funded. Perhaps because the money isn't purely in the form of grants, but often requires teaching? The amount offered by Iowa is also less than the $27,000 per year offered by Michener. Suck it, Iowa (but please let me in)!
Each MFA issue is a reminder that another year has passed and I still haven't joined a program. Writing is a lonely hobby. Whereas knitters can join knitting groups and runners can find other runners to pound the pavement with, writing requires space away from others to work, but then needs others to read and critique and encourage. And yes, even to learn. "The Teachable Talent: Why Creative Writing Can Be Taught" by Gregory Spatz was a welcome read in this year's MFA issue. Nobody who believes that writing is purely a God-given talent and not a skill that can be honed, should ever teach in an MFA program.
To all would-be MFAers out there, I wish you luck and success.
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